Being Me ... Or Not
I'm feeling weird.
I've started writing at least five different blog posts... I'll continue them some other day if I feel the urge... ever. Right now, I'm just feeling a mixture of things. I'd love to listen to some music, but I tried and it's making me feel really restless. I'd like to run... exercise... but I'm not feeling too well and need to conserve my energy for the coming week. I want to read something but I'm not able to lay my hands on the correct book for this mood... which, in itself, is really strange. I seem to be missing a friend, and seven hour-long conversations, but for very valid reasons only two other people know, I'm in the process of trying not to depend on him, or the conversations, any more. But most of all, I'm beginning to realize that summer is giving way to fall and soon all my skylight will have to offer will be uniform grey... for a whole seven months more!! I'd forgotten that my bedroom window looked out onto a brick wall, summer enabled me to forget it... temporarily, but now that it's back in my mind, it's taking every ounce of my mental strength to keep from obsessing about it again. I saw a tree outside today, orange leaves all ready to drop. Part of me felt like taking a photograph, it's the only tree on my street that is equipped for winter yet, the others are still green. The other part of me went, Fall already?!?! I'm trying to fool my mind into believing that y'know, it grew this dark at this time in spring too, and it may as well be spring, but when I tried, I couldn't enjoy "Spring" from Vivaldi's Four Seasons either. I guess there are other reasons for that as well, but let's let that go. For once my mind seems to be telling me that nobody lives by faking reality in any manner whatsoever. Learnt its lesson the long hard way, I guess.
It's time to listen to November Rain ...again.
I've started writing at least five different blog posts... I'll continue them some other day if I feel the urge... ever. Right now, I'm just feeling a mixture of things. I'd love to listen to some music, but I tried and it's making me feel really restless. I'd like to run... exercise... but I'm not feeling too well and need to conserve my energy for the coming week. I want to read something but I'm not able to lay my hands on the correct book for this mood... which, in itself, is really strange. I seem to be missing a friend, and seven hour-long conversations, but for very valid reasons only two other people know, I'm in the process of trying not to depend on him, or the conversations, any more. But most of all, I'm beginning to realize that summer is giving way to fall and soon all my skylight will have to offer will be uniform grey... for a whole seven months more!! I'd forgotten that my bedroom window looked out onto a brick wall, summer enabled me to forget it... temporarily, but now that it's back in my mind, it's taking every ounce of my mental strength to keep from obsessing about it again. I saw a tree outside today, orange leaves all ready to drop. Part of me felt like taking a photograph, it's the only tree on my street that is equipped for winter yet, the others are still green. The other part of me went, Fall already?!?! I'm trying to fool my mind into believing that y'know, it grew this dark at this time in spring too, and it may as well be spring, but when I tried, I couldn't enjoy "Spring" from Vivaldi's Four Seasons either. I guess there are other reasons for that as well, but let's let that go. For once my mind seems to be telling me that nobody lives by faking reality in any manner whatsoever. Learnt its lesson the long hard way, I guess.
It's time to listen to November Rain ...again.
posted by Summer Showers at
7:21 PM
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