Home Is Where The Lab Is
Yes, I am still alive. Yes, I am still blogging. Of course, there's a difference between 'actively blogging' and 'putting in an appearance'. I realize I'm about to do the latter today. Hell, come to think of it, I haven't even had the time to catch up on my favorite blogs in the last three weeks!
All well in my land. I had my first day of work after the Christmas break on the 4th of January 2008. I cannot even tell you how panicked I was. It's been a while since I've had to change employers and evidently, in the last few years, I've come to believe that all employers (in the research domain, that is) are from hell. From 'Very Naive' to 'Terribly Suspicious of Everyone and Everything' is quite a bit of a label switch, no matter what the time frame. So, even though I had heard good things of My Advisor, I still wasn't expecting much. As if it wouldn't already be a big enough change to move from 'Inhuman' to 'Human Being', I believe I've been blessed with an actual 'Good Human Being' as my current advisor. That's a huge label change, too. In a weird coincidence, I can mention that I seem to have gone to the other end of the alphabet spectrum in that, while my ex-advisor was a Dr.A, this man is a Dr.Z. Literally and figuratively on the other end of the spectrum. I couldn't be happier.
My Advisor is a very hands-on person. He loves teaching and is a good teacher. Translation: very patient, does not mind silly questions, knows his stuff and is good at getting ideas across. Being new to the environment, the office and the work itself, I have frequently run across things I'm not sure of, and can always go back to him. I really appreciate the fact that, despite his very busy schedule, never once has he not made sure that I am comfortable and have all the resources needed to work effectively. The Big Thing: Not once since I've started work have I been yelled at. In fact, several times in the last few weeks, I have done the things required for me to do - and each time, to my intense surprise and pleasure, he has taken the trouble to walk out of his office into the lab and personally express his appreciation for my quality of work. Funnily, I believe that of all the new things associated with this place, that one thing has been the hardest to get used to.
Here are the weird changes associated with my current frame of mind:
*** 1. My old and new lab practically face each other. They're on opposite sides of the same street, and so, about the same distance from home. I used to take seventeen minutes to walk to the old place. In the last two weeks, I've realized that average (for the same location, mind) has dropped to twelve minutes. It's like my feet were filled with lead before!
*** 2. I worked about six hours a day at my old place (bear in mind I was also working at the other place to earn my bread-and-butter) and felt really tired. Now I work about eight hours a day (bread-and-butter place aside) and go every weekend for about five hours - and come back home fresh as a daisy.
*** 3. Not only do I spend more time at work, my output has gone up, my performance has never been better in Chicago, and I feel that I've started absorbing new concepts much faster than I did earlier. If someone told me about these changes in themselves, I'd have thought them fanciful.
I'm still a little inclined to be suspicious of all these changes and think that maybe it is just a consequence of me being a "new student" that he's so patient with me. In the last two weeks of work, I have been working very hard, not only because I feel comfortable enough and inspired to perform, but also to show that it wasn't ME that was the issue in the old place. I'm always a little worried that I'll be reprimanded - however nice he is. I'm always very worried that eventually I will not be adjudged smart enough or hardworking enough to continue in this place. I guess that all the time I spent in that bad environment has affected me so deeply that I am, as yet, unwilling to admit that I actually deserve to be here. Right now, not only am I trying to prove to My Advisor and myself that I am still worth his effort, I am also trying to raise myself out of the emotional ruins of the old place.
But, I suspect that I needn't be that suspicious and easily alarmed any more. I'm home.
All well in my land. I had my first day of work after the Christmas break on the 4th of January 2008. I cannot even tell you how panicked I was. It's been a while since I've had to change employers and evidently, in the last few years, I've come to believe that all employers (in the research domain, that is) are from hell. From 'Very Naive' to 'Terribly Suspicious of Everyone and Everything' is quite a bit of a label switch, no matter what the time frame. So, even though I had heard good things of My Advisor, I still wasn't expecting much. As if it wouldn't already be a big enough change to move from 'Inhuman' to 'Human Being', I believe I've been blessed with an actual 'Good Human Being' as my current advisor. That's a huge label change, too. In a weird coincidence, I can mention that I seem to have gone to the other end of the alphabet spectrum in that, while my ex-advisor was a Dr.A, this man is a Dr.Z. Literally and figuratively on the other end of the spectrum. I couldn't be happier.
My Advisor is a very hands-on person. He loves teaching and is a good teacher. Translation: very patient, does not mind silly questions, knows his stuff and is good at getting ideas across. Being new to the environment, the office and the work itself, I have frequently run across things I'm not sure of, and can always go back to him. I really appreciate the fact that, despite his very busy schedule, never once has he not made sure that I am comfortable and have all the resources needed to work effectively. The Big Thing: Not once since I've started work have I been yelled at. In fact, several times in the last few weeks, I have done the things required for me to do - and each time, to my intense surprise and pleasure, he has taken the trouble to walk out of his office into the lab and personally express his appreciation for my quality of work. Funnily, I believe that of all the new things associated with this place, that one thing has been the hardest to get used to.
Here are the weird changes associated with my current frame of mind:
*** 1. My old and new lab practically face each other. They're on opposite sides of the same street, and so, about the same distance from home. I used to take seventeen minutes to walk to the old place. In the last two weeks, I've realized that average (for the same location, mind) has dropped to twelve minutes. It's like my feet were filled with lead before!
*** 2. I worked about six hours a day at my old place (bear in mind I was also working at the other place to earn my bread-and-butter) and felt really tired. Now I work about eight hours a day (bread-and-butter place aside) and go every weekend for about five hours - and come back home fresh as a daisy.
*** 3. Not only do I spend more time at work, my output has gone up, my performance has never been better in Chicago, and I feel that I've started absorbing new concepts much faster than I did earlier. If someone told me about these changes in themselves, I'd have thought them fanciful.
I'm still a little inclined to be suspicious of all these changes and think that maybe it is just a consequence of me being a "new student" that he's so patient with me. In the last two weeks of work, I have been working very hard, not only because I feel comfortable enough and inspired to perform, but also to show that it wasn't ME that was the issue in the old place. I'm always a little worried that I'll be reprimanded - however nice he is. I'm always very worried that eventually I will not be adjudged smart enough or hardworking enough to continue in this place. I guess that all the time I spent in that bad environment has affected me so deeply that I am, as yet, unwilling to admit that I actually deserve to be here. Right now, not only am I trying to prove to My Advisor and myself that I am still worth his effort, I am also trying to raise myself out of the emotional ruins of the old place.
But, I suspect that I needn't be that suspicious and easily alarmed any more. I'm home.
posted by Summer Showers at
11:48 AM
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